My choice
by Sarafly
Summary: Sara has to make a decision that could change her life forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey,guys. I hope you like this one.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own CSI, nor Jorja Fox nor William Petersen. I wish I did.**

My life has been very lonely. Since I was a child I expected nothing back from the people who were suppose to take care of me.

Nothing at all…

Not even love.

When I met Gil Grissom everything changed.

I wanted company. I wanted to be loved, by him.

At the beginning of our relationship, I thought he wanted me, too.

But life has taught me not to dream. He could not love me. I was not worth the risk. He chose the safety of his controlled life instead of an unstable future with me.

After that moment, I recognized my destiny. I was bound to be alone. I was not meant to be loved.

From that day on my life only had a purpose. I was convinced I had to work hard and stand out among the others. I had to be the best CSI.

And I worked hard to be as professional as Grissom. When I was working, nothing distracted me from the crime I was committed to solve.

The best part was the sense of finality I gave to the victim's family. It was overwhelming the satisfaction I felt. I was on the right track.

I had finally put my feelings on the back of my head, and Gil Grissom was not the first thing on my mind.

"Sara, could you come to my office, please?"- I heard Ecklie asked me while we were waiting for the boss to give us the assignments for the night.

Everybody in the team stop talking and they looked unsettled with the disturbance.

I could tell Grissom was stunned by Ecklie's interruption. His left eyebrow was arched and he looked at me as if I knew what this was about.

I looked intently at Grissom letting him know my ignorance and soon enough Ecklie was leaving the room with an attitude that left no doubt he was expecting me to do what he requested.

I asked Grissom silently and he nodded.

I walked through Ecklie's door with a strong feeling that my life would change dramatically and I did not know why.

"Please, sit down, Sara. I am sure you are curious about the reason of this meeting"- he said with a smug smile.

"You are right, I am." I told him.

"Well. You know I am a person of few words. I have an open position on days. I thought of you"

My first reaction was to confront him about that statement. Why does he want me?

But then I realized this was my opportunity to finally say goodbye to Grissom.

"What is this about, Ecklie?"

"Well, the position is a promotion for you. Better hours and more money with the same job expectations. I have to say I am very satisfied with your work. I would be happy to have you on my team."

Ecklie spoke without hesitation saying the same things I was waiting to hear from Grissom. It was clear to me what my decision should be.

But I knew in my heart I have to speak with my boss first, before I decided what to do. He deserved great respect from me. After all he was a great mentor, it wasn't his fault he couldn't love me.


	2. Chapter 2

**You are awesome! Thanks for your kind words!**

* * *

Walking by his office, Sara felt her heart rate increasing. She was early for work as always, but this time she had a purpose. She wanted to talk to him. She needed him to understand her reasons for leaving.

Like so many times during the past five years, she stood at his door. Although he was absorbed in a conversation with someone at the phone, he made her a signal to come in.

She let him know she would come later. She left and he stayed there looking at the door wondering what this was about.

He was waiting for her to return, but before long it was time to give up the assignments, so he decided to go and find the rest of the team.

When everyone was at the break room, Sara was still in front of her locker trying to figure out how she was going to start the discussion with Grissom about her transfer to days.

She did not have to wait much. Grissom paired them together and as soon as she started to drive to the crime scene he asked about the meeting with Ecklie.

"I wanted to talk about it tonight, but you were busy."

_I answered his question without looking at him. My eyes never left the road as I spoke, and I knew he perceived my discomfort. _

"Sara, you are nervous. What is it?"

_He spoke in a soft comforting tone and I just wanted to cry._

"I was offered a job on Ecklie's team."

_My words hit hard on both of us._

_He stared at me; I could feel his eyes on me. I still could not find the courage to look at him._

"Let's get together after shift. We need to talk."-he said and walked out of the Denali leaving her there with her thoughts.

The primary victim was a woman who was apparently murdered by his boyfriend. In one of the rooms Brass found a little boy, who was confirmed as the victim's son.

Another victim, the real one…

Sara could not shake off the feeling of meaninglessness while processing the little boy. His life was going to change significantly after this day and he was unaware of it. He looked at ease playing with his videogame.

This woman had a reason to live, a beautiful boy, her only son; and she chose to be involved with a lunatic who took her life leaving this boy alone in the world.

Life was not fair. If she ever had a son, she would never be involved with a man who could jeopardize his life. She learned that lesson many years ago. She was not going to be like her mother.

She looked again at the boy, and decided to do her job. This was the only thing she could do for him. The only thing she was good at.

"Hi. Are you playing Super Mario? I bet I can play it, too."

The boy smiled and offered her the game accepting the challenge. Before long she was immersed on a playful exchange with the lovely five years old.

Grissom froze at the room entrance when he realized what Sara was trying to accomplish. It was better to back off and let her process the boy alone. He became aware of the sweet interaction between them. He was sure the boy was already captivated by her, judging by the smile that lit his face.

He waited for Sara to finish processing before he called at the door to ask if she wanted some fried fries and a vanilla shake. She took the hint and offered the boy the food.

As he ate Sara was deep in thought evoking her own experiences in the system. It wasn't all bad. She had met a few good friends with whom she was still in contact. Just a few days ago, she received an invitation to the wedding of one of her friends from high school. Maybe she would go. She needed a distraction.

Grissom interrupted her thoughts asking her to meet him outside the room. The Social Services Department had a person waiting outside for the little boy. He asked Sara to bring the boy after he finished his meal. She nodded looking at him with a blank expression.

When the official vehicle left the scene and she watched the boy's little hand waving good-bye at her, she could not stop the tears to show in her eyes. She wiped them quickly with the back of her hand.

She was a strong person. Grissom would never see her tears again.


	3. Chapter 3

I am posting again after a hard day at work. Thanks to those who take the time to read my thoughts. I appreciate it.

* * *

At the end of the shift Grissom met Sara at a café near the lab. It was a small place they both used to go during her first years in the city. Those were the times when their friendship was strong.

They enjoyed their coffee while having lighthearted discussions about everything. He made funny comments and they laughed together. One thing led to another and she was falling in love with him.

Then Sara made the mistake to ask him out. From that moment on everything changed between them. His rejection hurt her so much because for a while she could not comprehend why he didn't take a chance to be with her.

However, when she heard Grissom tell a complete stranger his reasons, she understood. He did not want to risk his career for her. She had to admit to herself it was a valid reason. She was scared too, but unlike him she was in love. For her it was worth risking anything for the chance of being more than friends.

After his negative response she needed time for herself. Sara needed time to allow her hopes and dreams to be replaced by reality. She had to accept she wanted Grissom to be happy, whatever his decision was. She had to accept that if she wanted his friendship, she had to suck it up, and move on.

It took awhile before both of them felt comfortable resuming their friendship, but eventually, they did.

For a certain time she was satisfied with their relationship. But soon she realized it was not enough. Sara wanted more and she knew she had to let him go. She had to put distance between them.

* * *

Grissom was looking at Sara with a thoughtful expression. He already knew she was going to leave him. He was not unaware of the elephant in the room. Eckley's offer was good for her.

'Well, Griss, you already know Eckley offered me an opportunity to be part of the day shift. After my suspension I couldn't imagine he would want to work with me in the near future."

"I know, but Eckley is a good administrator, and any good one would be pleased to have you on his team, Sara."

_He smiled at me while he spoke, and I could not get rid of the sadness I felt realizing how much I would miss working beside him._

"Thanks, he said something like that. It feels good to be acknowledged"- _I said quickly without realizing my mistake._

"I value your work, Sara. You don't think I recognize Eckley is doing this for his benefit? You are my best CSI and he knows it- he said with a hurtful flash in his eyes.

"Griss, please, I don't want to be ungrateful. I cannot thank you enough for bringing me here and teaching me everything I know. You are my mentor and my friend. I will miss you, but you have to accept my decision. It's for the best."

"Why, Sara? I thought you enjoy working with us."

"It's not about the work, Griss. I am doing this for me."

Grissom looked at Sara and wondered what might convince her to stay. He was her boss, her friend and mentor, but he couldn't find the right words to explain how he felt. He could tell she did not want to leave.

"First of all, let me tell you why I think your decision is wrong. We can't hide from our destiny. We know each other for what, eight years? Do you think it was a random request that I asked you to come to Vegas? No, Sara, I wanted you here with me. I don't want to work with another person, I want you. You are my friend."

While he spoke she was thinking how this man could be so passionate about their friendship and at the same time so oblivious to their attraction.

"Griss, I love to work with you, too. Let me say again, I am not leaving because of work, it's more personal.

"Then I guess I have to let you go. Even though, I am not pleased with your decision, I wish you the best."

"Thanks" – Sara said while she stood up.

He grabbed her by the wrist to stop her from leaving.

Sara stared into his eyes and felt so warm and fuzzy; a feeling she didn't feel for a long time. But, she looked away. It felt awkward to feel like that again. And then she gently took her wrist out of Grissom's grasp and slowly walked away from him.

Gil Grissom drove back home with his hands lingering on the steering wheel. Thoughts of Sara ran throughout his head. He didn't want Sara to be disappointed with him. He wanted to show her that he cared about her. But she just seemed so sure of her decision.

And then, he turned on the road and drove to Sara's apartment. He realized he couldn't let Sara walk out of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Enjoy the weekend!**

* * *

Meanwhile, Sara was at home thinking about their previous conversation realizing she expected too much from him. Grissom's argument trying to convince her to stay was disappointing. He confirmed what she already knew; they would never be nothing more than good friends.

She had to admit he has been a good friend. Hell, he was the only friend she had! The problem was that she wanted something he couldn't deliver.

Sara was in the bathroom finishing brushing her teeth, when she heard the door. She finished and walked slowly toward the entrance expecting her noisy neighbor, who practically every other morning rings her door asking for sugar.

When she opened the door, Grissom was standing there with an expectant look. She smiled at him warmly and then spun around walking inside of the apartment.

Grissom couldn't help but stare. He noticed how gorgeous she was. Her face had a natural glow that made her look younger.

"Are you going to come in?"-she asked him.

"Yes, thank you. I am sorry if I got distracted."

"No problem, Griss. What is this about? Didn't we discuss everything over breakfast?"

"Sara, I know the decision is yours, but please hear me. I want to propose an arrangement I think would be convenient for both of us".

Sara didn't answer. She nodded and waited.

"Look Sara, your friendship has been significant in my life. I didn't realize how much I would miss you until you told me you were offered the transfer. It is a simple proposition."

While he was speaking, Sara was looking intently at him a little surprised by his words.

"How is anything simple with you?" –she answered trying to hide the resentment, but she failed.

He noticed the slight accusation in her words and realized he needed to be more aggressive. He needed to convince her to stay.

"I know I have been difficult, but that's who I am. I've screwed up things so many times in my life. I've said dumb things, and I've made awful mistakes – just like everyone else. And there isn't a day when I think about what I did to us. Sara, please, I am only asking for more time for us to learn things we don't know about each other like what your favorite color is or how I like to spend my weekends. I think I deserve a chance to make "this" right."

His eyes were shining with a passionate look and Sara could not help but think how ironic life was. She was expecting these words from him, and when she heard them, it wasn't enough. She wanted everything from him, she could not settle for less than love.

She knew he was expecting her answer so she kept her head up looking intensely at him.

"That's very sweet, Griss. I really value your words. However I am convinced it's better for me to leave the nightshift. We are good friends; and we can still be friends even if we don't work together. I think it's time for us to be apart for a while".

"Why, Sara, what is it you are not telling me? - he asked with determination.

"The truth is I decided I want some things from life and I don't have much time left. I want to be a mother; I want to have a child someday. Therefore, Ecklie's offer, as unexpected as it was, could be the opportunity to accomplish my dream."

"I don't think you have to leave to achieve your personal goals. "

He was losing the argument so he reacted quickly disagreeing with her.

"Griss, please, don't insist. I want you to respect my decision."-she sighed frustrated with him and his damn perseverance.

"But, Sara…"

"Please, let me finish. I know you can never understand how I feel and I don't expect you to - the last thing I want is your pity. But you do need to understand that it's my choice."

He could only look at her and see the beautiful girl who was his best friend and watch as she held in all of her emotions. He had never seen her so troubled. He knew that something had been bothering her for the past few weeks, but just couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"This isn't your decision alone, it's mine too," Grissom argued.

She looked him in the eyes and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't continue to let myself get hurt. I'm sorry, Griss, but it has to be this way."

"No, Sara, I am not going to be a simple bystander. I want to be part of your dreams. You want a normal life? I am willing to give you what you want."

"Do you even realize what is it that you are offering?" Sara asked.

"I know what I said. I am asking for a chance to be the person you want, Sara. I need you in my life. The attraction between us is there. I can't say I love you, because I don't know how to love. But I am willing to try if you let me".

"I couldn't let you do that, Griss. I said I didn't want your pity, and I meant it."

"It's not pity, Sara. I am only asking you to consider it. I will be waiting for your decision."

Sara feared if she continued with the conversation she wouldn't hold the tears that attempt to run down her cheeks, then she hastily tried to run past him but he reacted faster and stopped her.

They were face to face, their bodies so close she couldn't breathe. Then Grissom did the most unexpected thing. He took her in his arms.

He felt his chest ache revealed in the feel of her soft body. He allowed himself a brief moment to admire how she looked in the small tank top and cotton pants with her hair tied back in a ponytail, and then shook his head before allowing going any further.

He knew that she thought he didn't want her in his life, and he allowed her to think that it was for the sake of his reputation. He put up a cold front because he couldn't let himself get close to her.

Sara was hugging him closely, crying against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close and relishing the contact.

"I need you, Sara. I know I am selfish but I can't afford to let you go. Please, let us try. Give me one more chance."

She couldn't answer; her mind was overwhelmed by his confession.

When he slowly moved apart from their embrace she felt defenseless, her body missing him already.

Grissom reached over, grabbed her hand, and gently kissed the back of it. Then he left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the reviews. Hope you like the development of the story. **

* * *

When Sara arrived at the lab, the guys were waiting for her. Obviously, they already knew. She tried to evade their questions about the change of shifts, but Greg was adamant to know if she was going to leave.

"I can only tell you that I am considering my options. It is an attractive offer but I don't have a decision yet."

She spoke while pouring a cup of coffee trying to appear calmed and relaxed. The truth was she was at a complete loss after Grissom's proposal.

Greg's words were always a boost for her ego and right now he didn't let her down.

"Well, Master. I am sure you wouldn't like to be away from your best student for long; therefore, I know what your decision is going to be. You are going to stay here with me, because you love me."- He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Everybody laughed at Greg's antics while Grissom decided to come into the room at that precise moment. He was oblivious to their interaction and started to send each one to their scenes. He paired her with Greg but stayed for a few minutes waiting for them to leave the room.

''Are you alright?'' he asked touching her shoulder lightly.

She looked at him then looked away trying not to stare into his deep blue eyes.

''Yes, thanks. I …need to leave. Greg is waiting.'' she murmured touching the door.

"Okay" He sighed and let her go.

He quietly walked inside his office and closed the door. He stood staring at the pile of papers over his desk. He still couldn't believe that he would possibly lose Sara. He knew that she cared for him. She was attracted to him, but did she love him? Was she going to give him a chance to start over?

"Whatever her answer will be, I'll know soon.'' Grissom murmured to himself starting to fill the reports.

* * *

After shift Sara went to the Social Services office to inquire about the little boy of her previous investigation. Angie, the social worker, welcomed her warmly. The boy was at the hospital waiting for a foster home to accommodate him.

Angie told Sara the sickening details of this case. The boy, whose name was William, already had a record in the Department. A year ago, he was taken to the hospital, where doctors treated him because of breathing difficulties, malnutrition and a great deal of scarring indicative of a severe infection that had gone untreated. The hospital called the Department and he was taken away for three months while they investigate the mother. But they found nothing probative, so they let her keep the boy. A few months later she was dead.

Sara held her anger and asked Angie if William had any family who could claim him. The woman answered quickly that he didn't have anyone. This little boy was alone in the world.

She stood and thanked Angie for taking care of him. Sara hurried outside the building holding her tears. Why life was so unfair?

She decided to go to the hospital. Maybe she was able to give him a slight comfort.

As soon as she saw William her heart went to him. He was sitting on the bed looking through the window with a far-away gaze. He didn't even notice her presence.

"Hey, it's too early to be in bed. How come you are not playing?"

Sara spoke cheerfully trying to catch his interest. The boy looked at her with sad eyes, but at the same time she noticed a slight relief on his face. He recognized her, but didn't react until she spoke again.

"Let's see if I they let me eat breakfast here with you. Would you like that? - She asked with hopes that he would eat something.

But William didn't want to eat; he was very scared.

As a result, Sara wasn't surprised when she felt his little arms around her body. He didn't cry, he kept hugging her tight as if he feared she would vanish like his mother did.

She held him hesitantly; trying to soothe him with her words.

"I am not going anywhere, William. I will stay here with you."

She was tenderly caressing his face and he gradually calmed down.

He looked at her and murmured in an almost inaudible way: "Please, don't leave me alone."

Sara's heart was thumping hard. She was overwhelmed with the compassion she felt for him. She was transported to 1984 when her life changed radically. She lost both her parents at the same time. She was alone in the world and nobody cared about her.

Suddenly, her feelings for Grissom were not her first priority. This little boy needed her and she wasn't going to fail him. She called Angie to let her know she was willing to take care of William.

She didn't hesitate. Even if Grissom didn't agree with her decision, even if she looses him, she was going to have this little boy in her life…

* * *

Grissom opened his phone and answered it in a hurry without looking at the caller ID. He was surprised to hear Sara's voice. After all, it was almost the beginning of shift. Where was she?

"Hey, Griss. I can't be there tonight. I need to solve a personal thing."

Grissom was puzzled with Sara's call, even though it was reasonable to let her take one night off, the first one after all the years working at the lab; he couldn't avoid thinking there was something else to this request.

He fidgeted, feeling nervous on the inside but for the most part keeping calm on the out.

He looked around to see if he was alone and softly asked her: "Sara, where are you. Are you okay?

He was aware this was the second time in the day he had asked Sara the same question, but he couldn't help to show his concern.

"I'm fine. Thanks. Look, I know this is short notice, but I really need this night off."

She pleaded softly hoping he wouldn't ask any question she was not ready to answer.

"Ok, sure, Sara. Keep me posted"

"Thanks Griss, we'll talk later." She hung up avoiding any more conversation.

After that odd interaction, Grissom was convinced this personal thing must be very important for her. He was getting more concerned now. She was acting very strange.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys. This one is for you, Silly. Enjoy! **

* * *

The journey back home was hard for Sara. She was exhausted after spending almost all day with William. They shared lunch and played games. She showed him some books she was able to find at the Hospital Gift Shop. William was very excited with the books; he was familiar with the names of the animals and some facts about them. Sara was pleased; he was a very smart boy.

When she was gathering her things to say good bye, he looked at her asking if she was going to leave him.

The sudden questioning of William brought tears to her eyes and shaking her head she said "No, I am not".

Then she came forward embracing him. She promised him she would be back every day, until they let her take him to her apartment. His excitement was enchanting. Sara was sure with her love and support William would overcome his past.

After a bath and a small meal she decided to go to sleep. But sleep was elusive to her that night. Her emotions were all over the place. She couldn't stop thinking about Grissom's reaction to the news about William.

He was always so kind with people she was sure he would be supportive of her decision. At the same time she feared he wouldn't understand her reasons.

Tired of the bed, she decided to leave her room and go to his townhouse. She had to discuss with him her plans. He deserved to hear the news from her as soon as possible.

As soon as Grissom opened the door she became aware of his comfortable clothes. He looked adorable dressed in pajama bottoms and a white tee shirt. His hair was tousled as if he was coming right out of bed.

She couldn't help but think how wonderful would be living here and having breakfast together every day. Small things she has never shared with anyone…

"Sara, please come in." He motioned for her to sit down while he went to the kitchen offering her something to eat.

"No, thanks. I'll have only coffee, if you don't mind."

"Okay. Let's sit down here, then."

They sat down on the couch drinking their coffee. They sat for a while in comfortable silence…

She knew she was supposed to start talking but she didn't want to break the sweet connection.

"Grissom, do you remember the boy from our last case?"- She finally asked him.

He nodded still finishing his coffee.

"I went to visit him at the hospital. Her name is William. I spoke with the social worker in charge of his case. This boy is alone in the world. He needs a person who could take care of him and I certainly want to help him have a future."

Sara spoke cautiously trying to be honest with him, sensing his confusion.

"That night I recognized your interest in the boy, Sara. It is obvious this issue is very important for you."

Grissom spoke kindly showing his sympathy.

"When I found him that night I fell in love with him right away. I can't say I didn't thought about helping him at the time. But right now, I decided to do the right thing. I am sure that he needs me as much as I need him."

"You are telling me you are going to take care of this boy and eventually adopt him"-he said without asking.

He finally realized William was her personal issue.

"Look, Griss I don't want you to think I am not being careful. You may say that there are many neglected kids around here and the state doesn't know what to do with them. I am aware of that. But if I can help one child I will be satisfied. And most of all, you must know that this boy captured my heart. I felt so sad for the little child. It's not right to let him go into the system if I can do something about it. And I want to do it."

After hearing her emotional speech he knew her decision was final.

"Sara, I agree with you. You are the perfect mother for William. I watched both of you together during that night and it was endearing. I only wish I could be a part of your new life."

"Thank you, Griss. You are a good friend."

_I was mesmerized with his words. He was telling me he wanted **us** in his life. But I wasn't sure if he was truly aware of the meaning of his words. _

"There is something else I have to tell you. When I filled the application to be a foster parent, they told me it would be better if I work more appropriate hours. It seems that Ecklie's offer is perfect for me right now."

_My words took him by surprise. I've never seen him so vulnerable. He was not looking at me now, not at my face at least. I couldn't believe that Grissom, the love of my life, was hurting because of me._

"Griss, look at me, please. I am going to be completely honest with you. There was a time when I didn't believe in love. I really thought it never existed, but then I met you… You are the only person I ever loved. I want you in my life, because I wouldn't be complete without you. But I can't make you love me. If you want to be in our lives, there is nothing that can get in the way of it. But it's up to you. "

"Sara, I wish I could say the word love. But as I told you before I don't know if what I feel for you is love. I can only say I want you in my life. I want to share my life with you. Please don't shut me down."

"Griss, baby, I don't want to hear you say "I love you", if you don't feel it. We can say the words but that doesn't mean that we understand what is involved in truly loving someone. Words can be cheap. Love is lived out by our words and our actions. What I need from you is action, show me that you care for me, and please show me that you really want me."

Emotion flooded his mind. He encircled her in his arms and gently brought her closer to him.

Why had she fallen in love with him? How had she forgiven his many mistakes? It beat him.

Taking her into his arms, he held her so tightly he suddenly became aware that he was crushing her. But she only responded by holding onto him with the same force.

Drawing back enough to see her face, he gently caressed her cheek with the tip of his fingers.

"You love me? Even though I was a complete ass?

Sara smiled up at him and nodded.

"You never stop loving someone; you just learn to live without them." She said wistfully.

"Emerson?" he asked.

"Sara Sidle".

Both laughing, their lips found each other in the next second.


	7. Chapter 7

**Enjoy the new chapter! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

After they separated, he couldn't understand why he was having this sudden sense of loss. She felt so good into his arms. Grissom wanted to kiss her again.

Meanwhile, Sara was looking at him waiting for any sign of retreat. After all, it was his _modus operandi_.

"You are so young and beautiful, Sara". He said while still caressing her cheek with his thumb.

"Thanks, but I am not so young, Griss." Sara smiled at him with an endearing look in her eyes.

"Shhh… don't say a thing; let me enjoy having you in my arms for the first time" -he said in a soft and yet seductive voice and then he kissed her again on the lips passionately.

He cautiously opened his eyes while kissing and saw a pair of brown eyes staring back at him, which made the kiss even better because it became more intimate. Her eyes were covered by a soft mist as he slowly pulled away... She looked at him with such vulnerability his heart ached.

Sara then rested her head on Grissom's chest sighing with uncertainty. She found herself pressing her body into his, she needed his touch and his scent because she spent so long without him and even if he didn't love her she needed to be with him, he was her love and her life… she'd take what she's given.

Heat surged through him as he felt her respond. His hands slid from her hair down to her shoulders and down her back, a shudder went through her because his hands were so gentle. Tears filled her eyes and Grissom stroked her back slowly.

"What is it Sara?" he murmured and hugged her tightly to him; he kissed her temple and looked at her with troubled eyes.

She shook her head and a couple of tears fell down her cheeks, "I missed you… Griss, I didn't have you, but I missed you so much…" she whispered shakily and more tears fell.

He wiped her tears away and simply hugged her close to him. She closed her eyes getting relaxed as she felt Grissom touching her hair gently.

They remained like that for a while, just enjoying each other's company. After a while Sara realized it was getting late. She looked at Grissom with a tender smile.

"Griss, I think I have to leave now." -she said reluctantly.

"I understand, but please tell me if I am going to see you tomorrow."

"Sure, although after shift I have to go to the hospital."

She stopped talking while thinking how to introduce William to Grissom.

"Would you like to meet William properly?" –she asked with some hesitation.

"Call me when you leave CSI, and I'll be there with you, Sara".

Then he kissed her on the cheek with so much gentleness her eyes filled with tears once more.

She left before her emotions betrayed her. She was not going to cry again.

She wanted Grissom's attention for so long, she couldn't help but doubt if this was real.

She drove back home thinking about what happened looking forward to the next day.

* * *

Sara went directly to Ecklies' office asking for a few minutes of his time. He agreed and they both took a seat.

"Well, Sara, are you going to accept the job?"-Ecklie asked with genuine interest.

"I am, Ecklie. I need a change in my life and I think this is the right choice for me."

"I am glad to have you in my team. Can you start next week?"

"Actually I was going to ask if it could be possible to take a few days off. I am going to be honest; I need to put my life in order to welcome a new person in it."

"Are you pregnant? - Ecklie was almost speechless. Sara couldn't avoid a grin looking at his astonished face.

"No, I'm not. I am trying to adopt a child." She spoke calmly amused at his relieved face.

"Congratulations, then. You can take two weeks of vacation time. You deserve it."

"Thanks again, boss" She said with a smirk and left the office feeling really good.

* * *

Grissom arrived at William's room with a slight apprehension. The main reason of his tension was that he was late to his appointment with Sara.

He had a meeting with Ecklie after shift that got extended for two long hours. Ecklie was gloating while telling him Sara has agreed to change shifts. Grissom faked to be surprised for the sake of their privacy. Still, he had to stay in Ecklie's office arguing about nonsense whereas he only wanted to leave to finally meet the boy.

The other reason was he didn't have previous experience with children. The only child he interacted before was Lindsey, Catherine's daughter, and it was a few years ago. He wanted William to like him because he didn't want to disappoint Sara.

He knocked once and the door opened immediately. A small blonde boy with bright and curious blue eyes was staring at him. Grissom looked at him thinking anybody could confound them as father and son.

"Hi, there. Are you William?"

"Yes." The boy spoke shortly never taking his eyes off him.

"I am Sara's friend, Gil Grissom"

"Do you like Sara?" he asked Grissom with a seriousness he found endearing.

"Yes, I like her very much. Do you?" Grissom riposted.

"I love her." William said without wavering.

"Then we will be good friends. Let's eat some fries I brought for us. By the way, where is Sara?"

William started talking while reaching for the fries. They ate all the food and Sara found them reading a book seating comfortably on the bed.

She smiled her Sara 'smile looking at his two adorable men.

When William noticed her he stopped reading and looked at her.

"Sara, Gil is here."

She turned to look at him slowly and when he saw the love in her eyes he felt like he could do anything she wanted.

"Hi, Gil"- she said and kissed him on the lips softly.

She turned to William and took him in her lap.

"I bet you played a lot with Miss Betty. Are you tired, baby?"

"A little, are you going to tuck me in before you leave?"

She nodded and put him in bed. She looked at the boy lying there, his blond hair was sprawled on the pillow and he looked like an angel with the sunlight falling on his face through the windows…

"I love you, William."


	8. Chapter 8

**Another one for my faithful readers. Thanks for you feedback. **

* * *

William was sleeping soundly while Sara kept watching him. He looked so sweet and innocent. She was thinking that his innocence was something she was willing to protect. She reached out and touched his cheek lightly, feeling a sudden pang of sadness.

_What if I can't provide him with a home, a place where he feels protected? He is so innocent and frail. _

Grissom squeezed Sara's hand and looked down into her face. She smiled back at him in a soft, tender way, which he suspected had something to do with her new sense of motherhood. Lifting his hand he softly caressed her cheek. He lifted her chin so she would look at him.

"William is asleep. Are you up to a walk?" he asked.

He offered her his hand, and she graciously accepted it.

Two minutes later he and Sara, still hand in hand, were walking toward a grand park located in front of the building. They were enjoying each other company while admiring the majesty of the scene surrounding them.

This park was a place frequently visited by tourists because of its history; although neither of them has ever taken the time to enjoy the surroundings. Vegas was not a place to enjoy nature. Almost everything was artificial.

"How beautiful!" she said; after they had walked for a few minutes, surrounded by ancient trees and the coolness of their shade. He could smell earth and leaves-the good smells he had forgotten living in Vegas, working with death.

All of a sudden he realized he was done with death. His mind was reeling with the realization. He wanted a life with Sara.

"Yes, he said, this is something I can't describe with my own words. I may need to use poetry. Can you imagine?" –he chuckled lightly.

"Yes," she said softly. "I know perfectly well what you mean."

"Ah," he said, and stopped suddenly, gripping her hand more tightly.

Sara touched his face with her free hand though she did not say anything. She did not need to.

He did not realize he had been holding his breath until he released it quite audibly.

"Strange," he said quietly, speaking to himself but to her too, since she was a part of him.

"You know I worked hard to be in the position I am now. I loved my work and it was always my main concern. I was satisfied with it, until I met you. I didn't think much about the effect you had in my life, even though you were always on my mind. I convinced myself I liked you, but I couldn't offer you nothing more than a friendship."

She looked at him with inquiring, anxious eyes. Sara felt something take hold of her heart.

Sadness? Love? Hope? Perhaps there was a little of all those feelings.

"I believe you didn't want to complicate your life, Gil. You were always in control of your feelings. I knew I was your weakness, I felt you wanted me, but you decided you couldn't risk your sheltered life. Why are you willing to risk it now?

"I guess I need poetry to express my feelings after all." He said looking at Sara with a hesitant look.

"_Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over..."_

"What did you say?"

"I am telling you in the words of a nameless poet, that I am in love with you. I didn't realize it until today when I watched you with William. I am sorry if you felt I was playing with your heart in the past. It wasn't like that. It wasn't you. It was my own head playing tricks on my heart. You are perfect, Sara. "

"Gil, I …

"I wasn't living, Sara. I want to live a life with you and William as a family. Sara, do you love me?

"Yes," she answered with teary eyes.

"It would seem a pity to let this moment pass without asking what I need to know," he said, narrowing his eyes on Sara.

"Sara, will you agree to marry this old fool who is absolutely in love with you?

"Yes," she agreed still shocked and teary-eyed.

Sara's heart was racing and a lump formed in her throat keeping her from speaking. These last minutes had totally thrown her world in turmoil and she had no idea how she was going to handle all of it. Gil Grissom was in love with her. He wanted to share his life with William, too. She couldn't help the tears coming down on her cheeks.

"I love you, Sara"- he told her, turning her against him and framing her face with his hands. His lips were barely against hers with his eyes partially open. For one single moment, their eyes met. They just stared at each other without saying a word.

Sara could feel his breath against her lips. His hands tighten in her hair and he pulled her mouth to him in a rough and yet tender passionate kiss. She was everything he wanted and the kiss had just made him want her even more. He tightened his arms around her, letting his feelings run free.

"This is home, Sara, you and I together."

* * *

After their walk at the park, they went straight to Grissom's townhouse. They sat down on his couch sipping tea and Sara was thinking that she have never felt so loved.

"Sara, I know you are worried about William's future. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Gil, my biggest fear is to fail him. He has suffered so much during his first five years of life; I can't help but doubt if I have the right skills to raise him properly. After all, the person who was supposed to be my role model is in jail"

Grissom was feeling her despair; her eyes were full of uncertainty.

"Honey, you will be the perfect mother for him. He is already in love with you. You don't have to doubt yourself. I will be by your side to help you. My proposal stands on both accounts. I want to marry you and I want William in our lives."

"Thanks, baby. You are very sweet. What did you think of him?"

"He is a very polite little boy and if he didn't like me he covered it very well. Maybe he was nice to me because you told him to behave?"- He asked her hiding a smile.

"Maybe… however I was certain he would like you. You are very likable." She said with a flirtatious tone in her voice forgetting for a moment her previous doubts.

"Yes, I am."

"Gil, thanks for trying to cheer me up. I know I have to be strong, but it's hard to be by myself all the time."

"You don't have to be alone anymore. Sara, you agreed to marry me. Marry me now."

"What?"- she squealed.

Her eyes were starting to tear up.

"Do you trust me?"- he asked her.

_I swear I wasn't hearing well, he must be speaking to me. _

"So do you trust me, Sara?

_He repeated. I nodded. _

_Suddenly I opened my eyes and I was in his arms._

"Let's get married now, Sara; unless you want a big wedding, because I don't."

"Yes, let's do it." She answered with a determination she wasn't aware she had.

He was hugging her tighter lost into her beautiful eyes.

"Yes?" he asked with a delighted smile.

"Yes Gil, I can't wait to become your wife."

With those words, her lips touched his. He loved the taste of her that never lingered long enough. From somewhere deep and primal within him, he growled low in his throat, hesitantly pulling away.

She loved him, needed him, and had him. She listened beyond his breathing to the whisper of the pulse in his chest. She knew it, and she wouldn't deny it. They were joined; they would be married. Their hearts had come to beat as one.


	9. Chapter 9

**This is the end, guys. I hope you enjoyed the story. Thank you again for your interest and kind words.**

**

* * *

**

Sara opened her eyes failing to recognize where she was. She felt a warm body close to her, a soft hand delicately grazing her belly and then she remembered everything. She was Sara Grissom now.

_Grissom took her to the Chapel of the Flowers, a beautiful place where they were married almost instantly. It was like a dream. She blinked and they were kissing in front of an old man who was the judge; and the witness, a sweet old lady. _

_Afterward they returned to the townhouse smiling at each other like two adolescents after their first kiss._

_It was raining outside. They made love to the sound of falling rain._

_Their union was unhurried at first. She felt his shy hesitant caresses on her soft pale skin; before his strong hands began to touch more openly, stroking her flushed cheeks. Their bodies straining closer, deeper, till they could no longer tell where one ended and the other began._

_They'd lain together in the afterglow with their bodies intertwined, and they fall asleep in each other arms. _

Grissom opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the light. He stirred to his side and noticed Sara seated on the bed with her bare back facing him. He quietly observed and listened to her calm, relaxed breathing.

As a man, he realized having Sara in his life was a blessing. He was grateful to the universe for allowing him to love her. The day he woke up and felt something pounding in his chest; was a day he once thought he could never experienced. He always thought he was incapable of loving someone. He has never been in love before. Sara changed him.

He wondered what she was thinking. Last night was their first night together, but also their first night as a married couple.

Sara quietly turned around to find Grissom staring at her. An easy smile broke on her lips. She touched his cheek with one hand, as the other held the blanket that covered the rest of her body.

"Good morning!" she said tenderly.

"It certainly is a great morning", he whispered before claiming her lips for a slow passionate kiss.

His body shivered in delight. She was perfect.

A few hours later, Grissom was ready to go to work. He didn't want to, but he already knew he would be required to do it.

Last night he missed work. Of course, he had his reasons. He was at his own wedding.

His wife, Sara, was at the kitchen making breakfast dressed only in an old UCLA tee shirt.

Ah, his wife… Last night was absolutely amazing. He used to dream about her. His dreams were always the same. Sara looking up at him with a shy smile after they made love all night. Waking up with Sara in his arms was a dream come true for him.

She felt his stare on her and turned to look at him. He gave her a small smile before taking her hand and spinning her.

She laughed as she turned and he laughed with her. A couple more turns and she found herself facing him nestled in his arms with her hands on his shoulders and his around her waist, pulling her close.

"I love you, Mrs. Grissom"- he said with a slight spark in his eyes.

'I love you too, Mr. Grissom"- she answered him with a lovely smile.

"I have to go now, honey. What are you planning to do today?"

"I am going to visit William and also I agree to have dinner with Greg later. Then I will wait for you at my apartment. Is that okay with you?

"Sara, I want you to move here with me. I can't think of any married couple that lives apart. Do you?"

"I think that could be arranged, Mr. Grissom."

She smiled up at him then rested her chin on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe this wonderful man was hers.

* * *

He came home to a dark living room. He felt cold. What happened?

She was supposed to be there waiting for him. But she was not. He climbed up the stairs in the direction of their room and found her there.

He moved near her. "Sara?"

She did not answer but he could see her shoulders shaking. His knees buckled. He held onto the doorframe and shook off his despair.

He approached her trembling form and wrapped his arms around her.

"Honey, what is it?"

"It's William. Angie told me there is a couple who is interested in him. They are the Department's first choice, because I'm a single mother."

Her distress was so genuine; he could only think she forgot about his proposal. Or maybe she thought he wasn't serious about adopting William.

"Sara, why are you crying? You are not going to be a single mother. I told you I am willing to accept William in our lives. We can adopt him together. And he already loves you, so I take they are going to choose us over that _wonderful couple_".

"Are you going to do that for me?" She asked with hope and so much love showing in her eyes.

"For us, honey. I love you and I think I need that little boy as much as you do."

He then hugged her with all his strength. She automatically responded to his touch and hugged him tighter.

_She is beautiful, even with the puffy red eyes and the tears staining her cheeks. I can't stand to see her crying._

He realized how much he loved her.

"Sara, we need to start thinking about William. We have to paint the spare room and buy some furniture. He needs a place of his own. Also we need to go there as a couple to show them our interest in him. The Department has to see us as serious candidates for William's custody. "

"You are right, Gil. Thanks again for being a part of my dream. You are my strength and my soul. I love you so much."

Their gazes locked and for a moment, everything that has happened between them was defined.

* * *

After a long month of waiting they were finally able to bring William home.

Grissom was right; the State accepted that they were the right parents for William. They already had a bond between them and William was attached to Sara from the first day they met.

The Department's investigation showed that the couple was capable to fulfill William's needs. Sara was married to a certain Dr. Gil Grissom, a renowned member of the Police Department. She was also working as a CSI and she willingly agreed to change her work hours to daytime to be able to take care of William appropriately. They were sure they made the right choice for the boy.

As soon as William entered the house Grissom noticed he was enthralled with the butterflies on the walls. He kept looking at them with such intensity; Grissom couldn't help but think this boy and him were very much alike.

"Are they alive?"

The boy asked the question with a small voice, hoping they weren't. He was thinking he wouldn't want to be one of those animals pinned on the wall.

"No, son. They are dissected and mounted on the frames."

"What does that mean?"

"To dissect is to cut and separate the parts of an animal for scientific study. I am an entomologist, or a person who works with insects studying them."

Grissom spoke cautiously; without realizing how strong his desire to obtain a positive reaction from him was.

"Cool, you work with bugs? I wish you could teach me, could you?" His blue innocent eyes were lightening up with excitement.

"Of course, but don't tell Sara, okay? I don't think she would like for us to play with bugs."

"I won't. It will be our secret. "

Sara was standing behind her husband as she heard the final part of the conversation. She smiled to herself.

They played outside with Grissom's dog, Hank. She was delighted with William's energy running around after Hank and laughing at Gil when he couldn't do the same.

After a while, they got tired and Gil read him a book while she was cooking dinner.

After they ate, they watched a Disney movie named _A bug's life_, a movie she bought specially for him. She knew Grissom would like it, too.

Then finally it was time to sleep. She walked William to his room, but told him she would be right back with a toothbrush for him.

Sara entered William's room and found the boy exploring what was going to be his living space from now on. Sara knelt down in front of William and took his tiny hands into hers, looking intently into his eyes.

"This is going to be your room. Gil and I are going to be on the room right besides this. It's that all right?"

"Will you stay with me until I get asleep?

"Of course honey."

"I love you, Sara. Thank you."

"I love you too, my boy."

She smiled as she kissed William on the top of her head; she already loved him so much.

Sara returned to the living room and checked on her husband. He was watching the final scenes of the movie. They were some bloopers. Bloopers in an animated film, you think?

And they were so funny, she couldn't avoid a wide smile watching Grissom's reaction.

She had never seen him laugh so loudly.

Sara surprised him surrounding his body with her arms and resting his head on his chest.

"Thank you, Gil. Today you've made me really happy. I don't want to lie. I was so nervous when they called and said William was ready for us. This was all I want and I was still doubting myself. But then I remembered your words. You believed in me. And if someone like you really took the time to see beyond my past, showing me a glimpse of love, then I must be worth it. I love you."

"Sara, it is me who want to thank you. You are so strong and brave. You made me realize I wasn't a complete man. I needed to step up to you. You are my other half. I love you, Sara. "

His mouth sought her lips and gently kissed her until Sara moaned softly.

"Mommy, daddy, I'm scared!"

They looked at each other and chuckled lightly. Yep, they were parents already.


End file.
